Utetopia!
By Bob
1/11/2009 11:21:00 PM
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 Congratulations Utah on college football perfection. While Utes have a right to be upset that the corporate title and the total vote from 65 members of the media didn't go their way, they should take pride in an unmatched accomplishment. Tim Tebow has been ESPNelevated to superhuman status, but the Utes did something he and no one else did. Win their games. In retrospect, Utah may have gotten more attention and a higher ranking had they dropped a game to a lesser opponent and then had Quarterback Brian Johnson make a speech promising to play hard from then on. That Tebow has heart!
More and more knowledgeable fans are realizing that while the BCS Championship game winner gets a banner saying so, they're far from being an undisputed title holder. We could have saved a lot of trouble the last two seasons by only allowing the SEC to play football. If losses to less than stellar squads aren't going to be punished because the conference has great PR, there's really no point for others to try. This season saw Florida fall to a four-loss Mississippi squad. While the Rebels had a great season by Oxford standards, losing to Wake Forest, Vanderbilt, South Carolina and Alabama far from makes them a legitimate force. Therefore the Gators lost at home to an average opponent without penalty. They finished in a four-way tie for the second lowest number of losses in major college football and were widely declared as tops. A year earlier LSU won the BCS with a two loss record that included falling to five-loss Kentucky. The Tigers couldn't beat Kentucky, saw two teams finish with better records and a half dozen with the same number of losses, and they were deemed champs.
Something needs to happen and I don't think a playoff is the answer. The Utahs of the world would often get shutout of a playoff because SEC and other major conference teams with a couple losses would be deemed more deserving. What I envision is an easy fix. College football needs to look to the sport of boxing. Multiple widely recognized titles is the answer this year and every year. Right now four teams deserve championships, and no one deserves undisputed status. In years where a clear champ earns it, all belts go to that team.
Therefore, I’m honored to announce the winner of football’s PBS Championship. The inaugural season-ending Papa Bert Standings have Utah as the National Champions. Congratulations! The university should feel free to hang signs and banners declaring so, but just like the television network with the same moniker, you will be asked to pay. Texas won the SS (sippin' seat) National Championship. Southern Cal, congrats on being SDH (sneaky drinking headquarters) National Champs. Players and fans of these three schools may not be as thrilled as if they had the BCS or AP titles, but these initials can have the same power. Just like boxing, it only takes a short time for someone holding a new belt to have others lining up and wanting it. No disrespect to the Gators. They had a great season, but if you hold the title in one boxing organization, you're often ignored by the others. If you think college football being like boxing is ridiculous, realize it's already mainly in the hands of judges (pollsters/computers when no KO occurs) and cancel your ESPN pay per view package.
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Remember, it is not too late to get your Sneaky Drinking gifts in time for Christmas! Shipments leaving our factory as late as December 22nd can arrive at your house before Christmas.
Order today!
Thanks and have a great Holiday and a very Happy New Year!
- Bert
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We are very happy to announce the return of the famous Floppy Flask.
Papa Bert's own Gameday Flask version of this famous sneaky drinking product is even better than the original!
Click here to order one today in time for the holidays!
- Bert
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 There's a big problem with the three Heisman finalists. One is extremely undeserving of the honor. 2007 winner Tim Tebow was easily the most deserving candidate last year with a remarkable season featuring 55 touchdowns passing and rushing. If he brought this year's stats to New York a year ago, he would have left empty handed. Tebow has 1,100 less yards and 15 less touchdowns (passing and rushing) this year than last. He's also behind Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford in yards, touchdowns and toughness of division. Bradford has nearly 2,000 more passing yards than Tebow and only seven less rushing scores. He also has 13 more total scores and just two less than Tebow's award winning 2007 total. McCoy has almost 1,000 more passing yards (one less game) and slightly more rushing yards and overall touchdowns. In order to be a repeat winner, you should at least come close to repeating the previous year's performance. Give the statue to either Bradford or McCoy. They had better seasons in a much harder conference. The SEC was laughable this year. If you don't agree, you're paying as much attention as the Heisman voters giving Tebow a trip to New York. All three led their teams to one-loss seasons. If this were the three-way Big 12 South tie, Tebow is Texas Tech. Unfortunately, popularity does play a role just like the voting for seventh grade student council president. John Parker Wilson is the easy favorite in that race. He's got the haircut.
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NEW PRODUCT: The Disposable Flask
We are very happy to now offer the Disposable Flask in 8 great colors!
Red / Black
Blue / Orange
Scarlet / Gray
Pink / White
Gray
Camo
Leopard
Transparent
These all plastic soft Disposable Flasks are a great inexpensive alternative to traditional hard plastic or metal flasks. You don't have to worry about losing them or forgetting to wash them out. Just throw it away and start over...brilliant!
- Bert
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We are very proud to offer 6 new Papa Bert Sippin' Seat colors...just in time for the holidays!
Black / Gold
Black / Silver
Black / White
Green / White
Green / Gold
Blue / Gold
We now offer 20 colors in all! Click here to check them out...
Happy Holidays!
- Bert
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As a proud graduate of Georgia Tech I was thrilled to have lunch with Paul Johnson today at Fox Sports Grill in Atlanta, GA. As head coach of the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, he has posted a great first season record of 7-3 so far.
Special thanks to Mike from 790 The Zone for introducing Paul and Wes Durham to the Sippin' Seat a couple weeks ago. After fighting over the only seat that Mike had, they decided to invite my wife and I for lunch today. I presented Paul with a Sippin' Seat and he was kind enough to sign one for me.
As an added bonus, I was joined at our table by Keith Homes, a member of the 1990 Georgia Tech National Championship Team (#30). It is always fun to see a National Championship ring up close and his did not disappoint. He was also kind enough to sign a Sippin' Seat for me.
Go Jackets!
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Halfway through the 2008 campaign and Brett Favre deserves an Incomplete for his efforts with the Jets. His team is 5-3 and tied for the AFC East lead. He's tied for third in passing touchdowns, is first in interceptions and is middle of the pack in passer rating. But the "Incomplete" is mainly because I instituted a Favre boycott before the season started and therefore feel unqualified to have an opinion. The endless off season Favre talk forced me to do it and it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made. I don't watch any Jets games and turn the channel when his highlights are on. The boycott has been a lot easier to maintain than I imagined. I have had to skip a lot of Sportscenter and a couple of national games, but not hearing any more talk about the "greatest player ever" has been refreshing. By no means have I been able to totally escape Broadway Brett. There's a geek at my work who stood by the water cooler one day wearing wranglers and raving about six touchdowns.
Prior to the endless "Favre is the only story in sports" retiring/unreTIRING saga I was by no means a jersey wearing member of the 4's flock, but I did enjoy watching him play. Then the spotlight shined and the attention far outweighed his or anybody else's accomplishments. The weeks of praise/scrutiny of his career persisted because of the fact that career records are all about playing in a lot of games. Favre having the career good (touchdowns) and the bad (interceptions) merely points out that longevity is what is being celebrated more than the player's ability. Note Vinny Testaverde and Drew Bledsoe both top-ten in career passing. However, Favre is indisputably tops in one inspiring category. Along with Rush Limbaugh, they are the only people I can think of who achieved much higher salaries after pill addiction. Now that’s the stuff of legends.
While I can't grade Brett's 08 season, I can give the boycott experiment an "A+". I've since instituted one for Chris Berman. The self-serving star of the four-letter network has always made me shout four-letter words. He's such a D!@#. It's refreshing to never again sit through a segment called Two Minute Drill that takes five-and-a-half minutes. It was unfortunate that I wasn't able to hear his interview with John McCain and Bar-ack-ack-ack Obama. I'm sure Edward R. Murrow would have been impressed. While you do miss a few things with boycotts, the less-stress sports viewing is well worth it. I recommend you try the boycott too. Oh wait, you already did with the Phillies/Rays World Series.
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